If the shoe does not fit...

Have you ever tried on a pair of shoes that do not fit you well? Very uncomfortable, right. At first, you can try to make it work, but after a few minutes, our feet start getting swollen, numb and they start hurting like crazy. After a few hours, you can't even walk right. You start dragging your feet to get from one place to the other. It becomes unbearable; if you can't stand it anymore and you're in a secure place, you end up barefoot. Unfortunately, if you're in a place where this is not an option, you have to endure the pain and keep up going until you get to a safe place to get rid of the torture. It is the same when we take on a burden that is not ours to bear, assume a position or take possession of a responsibility that does not correspond to us. At first, it seems like a good solution, but in time it becomes unbearable because we cannot keep it ongoing with that load, but we do not want to fail, so we have to endure it even if it puts us in an uncomfortable and unsafe place.

As humans, we want to have control of everything, and we tend to try to resolve everything, even the things that are not ours to set right. We are constantly taking other people's burdens upon ourselves, expecting to endure the onslaught. We do it even when we cannot handle ours. A good example is when we take upon ourselves someone else's problems that are theirs to solve. Some people cannot say no, so they say yes to everyone, even when overwhelmed by their problems. They are always trying to resolve everybody else problems. This behavior creates a huge problem; it creates a dependency that will eventually consume them up.

Helping others is the right thing to do, but we have to make sure that we set some boundaries. Boundaries protect us; they help us not to lose our priorities. They help us understand what burdens are ours to bear and what burdens are the load someone else has to carry. When you're constantly trying to change someone or make someone do something they do not want to do, you are destining yourself to fail. We cannot be responsible for someone else, nor be responsible for their responsibilities. We spend a lot of energy trying to change others and taking upon ourselves responsibilities that aren't ours that we often fail to take care of ourselves and to carry out our duties. When we are putting all our attention into another person's problems, we tend to lose sight of our own; that can be relieving at first, but later on, it can be tiring and counterproductive. Just like those shoes that do not fit you, they might feel comfortable at first, but eventually, you will end being tortured by them.

Another problem is when we assume a position that does not belong to us. We want things done, and we do not want to lose track of things, so we often take over the control of someone else territory. It happens a lot within the work environment. We see a co-worker doing their work wrong, and instead of correcting them or teaching them how to do it correctly, we end up doing the tasks ourselves. It may seem like a good thing at first because you want the work done, and you do not want to lose time, but you are just putting on a bandaid on a problem that needs a long-term solution. Taking upon yourself another person's charge above all your position demands will exhaust you, and it will become unbearable, just like when you put on somebody else shoes that do not fit you. A shoe should bring you comfort and protection, not torment you.

Another place this happens is in the Church environment; I have seen many people become overwhelmed because they are assuming three positions simultaneously just because there is no other person to do it. Instead of fulfilling God's calling, some jobs in Church have become a first-come, first-get basis, and this is worrisome because there are people in places they never meant to occupy. Yes, I believe we are here to serve, but I know that some positions should be filled by calling because God's will must prevail. He is the one that equips us, and He is the one that knows our inner desires and purpose. We should be more careful about to whom we are giving power.

In conclusion, we should not put on shoes that do not fit; it would just bring discomfort and pain. In the same way, we should never assume responsibilities and duties that do not correspond to us because we will be heading into failure and gaining a load that will eventually make us heavy and weary. Life should be a blessing, not a burden.