Unspoken Hurts

Yesterday, I found myself thinking about all the words left unsaid, all the hugs that are no longer within reach, and all the pain that was never expressed. I’m the kind of person who avoids confrontation, gossip, and misunderstandings, not because I’m afraid, but because I genuinely believe that open conversation can bring clarity. You can’t fix what you don’t know is broken. It’s heartbreaking how relationships can be damaged or drift apart, leaving you not knowing why. It hurts even more when you try to understand, repair, or reach out, and still get no response. If a relationship truly mattered, even amid the pain, you’d expect someone to fight for it, to show they care, to reach out, and to talk things through. Much of the damage in relationships comes from unmet expectations, misunderstandings, or unspoken hurt. We get wounded and respond with silence or anger, shutting down instead of letting the other person explain, apologize, or even realize what went wrong. Sometimes, the person who hurt us has no idea they did because they never meant to.

Of course, there are situations where someone knows exactly what they did and chooses to hurt you anyway. In those cases, no explanation is necessary. But on many occasions, people hurt us unintentionally, by failing to meet an expectation we never voiced, or by doing something we misunderstood. And unless we speak up, how would they ever know? It’s not fair to pull away and leave someone guessing. It’s not fair to watch a relationship change while one person is left in the dark.

Communication is key in every relationship. And if someone reaches out, trying to understand, don’t we at least owe them our honesty? Sometimes, just giving them that opportunity can lead to healing. You might even find they never intended to hurt you at all. But sadly, many of us retreat. We shut down, go silent, and never speak to the person again. We slip into victim mode, while the other person remains confused and hurt as well. How many relationships could have been saved if we communicated? How much hurt could be healed if we let pride aside and accept a sincere apology? But we prefer to let hurt win instead of giving it a chance.  Ironic, isn’t it?