Embracing You One More Time (Honoring my beautiful sister Carola)

Since I was the older one, I got the privilege and the blessing to enjoy every stage of my brothers and sisters. I played with my siblings as if they were babies, helped take care of them, and ran after them a lot, Lol. I watched them fall, fight, cry, have tantrums, laugh, sing, dance, and grow in many ways. I remember having Carola on a blanket on the floor and playing with her as if she were my baby doll. I remember when Carola wanted to put green (or red, I don't remember the color, but I know they were not subtle) tennis shoes with everything, even dresses. I remember when she was playing near the wall at Church during the mass and slipped and fell on her butt, everyone laughed, even the priest. I also remember the night of her Senior Prom; her dress was so tight that she could not eat well; she couldn't reach the utensils or take a bite. I remember when she wrote a poem, "El amor es como una flor que nunca muere, pero a veces muere..." Or when she told mom, "se me acabó la vergüenza" when my mom told her Carol, tu no tienes vergüenza. I remember the last conversation we had when she came to Saint Augustine and how she was more concerned about me, my health, and my feelings than sharing hers. She was making sure I was going to be okay. That conversation, once again, shows how selfless she was. I have so many beautiful memories that I would share them for hours.

But what I will never forget is her heart of gold. She was so full of love that she impacted the lives of everyone who met her, even me. Her legacy of love is a true inspiration. Her memory will be engraved in our hearts thanks to the love she always gave us. She taught us what it means to love without judgment and interest. Your strength, joy, craziness, and unwavering love for others were a blessing to many. I will never forget how many times you supported my decisions without judging or questioning me, even when I knew sometimes you disagreed with me. Thank you for that! You were always there, even from a distance, always available and ready to move heaven and earth to show your support. Even through the pain and your health struggles, it was not about you; it was always about making others happy. Your sense of empathy and selflessness was admirable, not only with family but with friends. You received so much love these past years because that's what you sowed. I witnessed your incredible strength and resilience and was constantly in awe of your relentless determination to find happiness regardless of obstacles or hurdles. Your unwavering spirit inspired me, and I feel privileged and blessed to have the honor of being your sister. I thank God for allowing me to have you in my life.

Your vibrant and warm presence will be deeply missed. Your infectious energy and captivating personality illuminated any space you graced with your presence. Grief and memories are interconnected and constitute an integral part of the grieving process. Remembering helps us ease the sense of loss and helps us heal. As the song I'll Be Seeing You from Billie Holiday says:

"I'll be seeing you

In all the old familiar places

That this heart of mine embraces

All day through..."

My beautiful sister Carola, I'll be vigilant for every single one of your memories and welcome them with open arms, holding them close to my heart every time they come to mind, because each will be an opportunity to embrace you one more time.