"What is essential is invisible to the eyes" The Little Prince.

Nowadays, society is so demanding and harsh about how we should look on the outside, about what beauty is, and about what defines a person that it sets out more pressure on those that do not meet their standards. Since little, we are constantly being overwhelmed with so much propaganda and advertising about the way we should look or be that when we become adults, we set goals that most of the time seem unreachable and unrealistic. It is so important to fit in that we spend most of our precious life trying to look or be like someone else. We are continuously struggling to be up to the standard, but why?

Here is my testimony: For the past four years, a combination of all the medications I am on and illnesses has made me gain a lot of weight, which has made me struggle with my appearance. This struggle has left me with many questions: Why am I struggling? Why are my reasons for losing weight? There is nothing more disappointing than doing things for the wrong reasons; at least, I strongly feel that when we do something for the wrong reason, we tend to set unrealistic goals that are a perfect recipe for failure.

I started analyzing my thoughts in terms of my weight. At first, I was trying to lose weight just because I was not liking what I was looking at in the mirror every time I looked. I started hating how I looked in photos and how the clothes looked on me. It was not until recently that I realized why it was important to loose weight and that I have to do it for the right reasons. These new reasons gained a new meaning when I recently had my 4th Pulmonary embolism encounter; I want to lose weight because I want to feel healthy. I am starting to make changes because I want to be there for my girls when they grow up. But even when I know why I am doing it, I still ask myself if I am affected by the idea of others of what is beautiful or acceptable. It is difficult not to be affected because the pressure is everywhere! But, can we be free in terms of our appearance and love ourselves no matter what we see in the mirror? or are we always going to find something we are not pleased with? This struggle with our appearance applies in many areas, not only in our weight because we struggle with different things: our hair, our skin, how tall or short we are, our disabilities or deformities, our scars, our voice, our smile, etc. We are continuously comparing ourselves with others and trying to fulfill concepts or ideas of what is beautiful and acceptable. Is this healthy? I do not think so.

We are so preoccupied with our exterior that we forget what is important. We forget to cultivate what is essential. We get blinded by outside standards, and we start seeking temporary happiness. We lose focus on what defines us; we start defining ourselves by others' standards instead of on who we are inside. What others think becomes so important that we start using their same standards as an excuse to criticize or reject others just because they are different from us or we do not understand them. We spend more time trying to mend our external appearance that we neglect what makes us complete; we forget to take care of the things that makes us special. Be true to yourself and analyze how much time you spend on your external appearance versus how much time you spend cultivating your spiritual life. You could tell me, "I cultivate both," but are you sure? You will be surprised with the answer if you are completely sincere. And the worse thing is that you would notice that you are the first to judge and criticize when someone does not fit your standards only because you think that you are allowed to condemn others. The problem is that most of the time, we are not following the correct standards. We are using the world standards instead of the Word of God. We are so committed to fulfill what the world expects us to be that we forget to thank the One that created us in the first place. We are losing precious time that is never coming back. We are losing ourselves in the attempt to be what? To be more acceptable, according to whom? We are so distracted that we forget what is essential. We forget that what is important is not on our exterior but inside us, it is invisible to the eyes.

Please, do not misunderstand me, taking care of your appearance and trying to live a healthy life is important, but the clue is to do it in balance, to cultivate other areas of your life. There is nothing more gratifying than to be complete, and that is something we can only achieve by cultivating our spirituality and our mind as much as our physical appearance. It is rewarding to achieve spiritual growth. Unlike other areas of our life, it is eternal. Our flesh will eventually get old and die, our mind may fade, but our soul will remain forever.

Remember, what is valuable and what is essential is invisible to the eyes.